Official Dannifer Maputo Restaurant Reviews

Dan's been moonlighting as a restaurant reviewer and by that I mean he eats and drinks at various establishments and then writes to you about it. Without further ado, I bring you Dan's latest guest post:

Mundos

I’m pretty sure this place was mentioned in previous posts.  The menu is extensive and the food won’t kill you.  The best thing here is the wings, but the pizzas are very popular too.  The pizzas are super thin crust (so in my book the highest rating they can achieve are “not bad”), and there are a large variety of toppings.  Sorry, nothing too “exotic”.  On principle, I ordered the Mexican pizza. Ground beef, lettuce, tomato and cheese.  It probably should’ve been called Taco Bell pizza. The atmosphere is what makes the place.  Good crowd, and lots of TVs for sports.  Wait staff is pretty good with English.

Africa Bar

We went on a Sunday evening.  Outside clientele will find posters advertising the exciting events they have coming up.  Sunday evening was not an exciting event.  The Saturday night before, however, supposedly was. By walking in, we can validate that the evening prior was definitely a lot of fun.  Evidence included sticky floors, the aroma of stale beer, and hungover staff.  Given all I remember about the place is the party I did not attend, apparently the food isn’t anything to write home about (pun intended).  English is not useful, hand gestures required.

The Wine Bar

What?! Wine and tapas?   Why the hell not?  Getting here required us to use a brand new taxi driver.  Like super new.  We went to this place our first week in Maputo and we knew our way around better than him.  However, his English was spectacular and he also showed up after our meal to bring us back.  But enough about him.  Walking in you can smell the wine.  Not like the stale beer from Africa Bar, this is more like a fancy smell that makes you feel sophisticated.  The menu is full of Portuguese style tapas.  Cured meats, random things with eggs on them, and plenty of fish dishes.  The wine menu involves literally walking around the place and pulling a wine off the shelf.  Not too bad.  Points deducted for having one shitty California wine (actually called “California Wine”), but I know I shouldn’t let national pride get in the way.  The food was good and what we ordered came out at a good speed. 

A Esquina

Oops, guess it turns out that Wine Bar is A Esquina’s slightly less attractive sister or slightly less athletically inclined brother.  A Esquina tops Wine Bar in atmosphere and wine list.  Coming here also revealed that Wine Bar was overcharging for their wine.  The food at Wine Bar might’ve been a bit better, but it’s hard not to like a place where the next time you sit down, they call you Papa Figo.  It’s sorta like being the Godfather except people don’t kiss my ring, I don’t get money from organized crime activity, and I have no political influence.  The name comes from the wine I ordered two bottles of the first time we ate here.  It was the second most expensive one on the list (approx. $40). 

New Galaxy Indian

Tacky neon flashing sign outside and it’s across from A Esquina.  This was very highly recommended by coworkers and others, so we were willing to give it a chance.  Also, India is a hell of a lot closer to Mozambique than the US.  The place isn’t too fancy, but there always seem to be Indians eating there – a good sign.  Unfortunately, the place is Halal (i.e., no alcohol, like, not even wine).  It’s tough to eat the flavorful dishes they have here and knowing across the street is an establishment with plenty of Cab, Shiraz, and other reds that would pair nicely with it.  Regardless, the food is pretty damn good.  Reminder: dosas in San Francisco (at the restaurant called Dosa) are about the size of your palm.  Dosas at New Galaxy Indian are approximately the size of a small newborn.

Shawarma Hut

I’m actually not sure what this place is called.  I just know it’s in the food court of the mall and cranks out $3.50 shawarma in minutes that’s delicious.  There’s a consistent group of Middle Eastern guys playing backgammon in the corner.  I’m pretty sure it’s a front for something, but I won’t push the issue as long as the food stays cheap and good.  It’s also halal, but for how quickly they turn out the concoction of sliced kabob meat, I don’t mind.

Costa de Sol

Went here most recently.  It’s a “famous” place along the beach that specializes in seafood.  On a Sunday afternoon, you can see the beach parties starting to get started (recommendation from coworkers – get a better tan and learn Portuguese before trying to partake in the Sunday beach parties).  I ordered a prawn cocktail that was quite good, but was served over some interesting neon green liquid.  Luckily the waiter came and picked it up before I drank the mystery ecto drink.  It’s rather difficult to get to without a car, but it’s worth the periodic trip.